If You’re Feeling Sinister…

It’s not news that America’s youth are too obese, too dumb, and too delinquent to dream big. Since kids are now developing type 2 diabetes while still in preschool and almost a third of fourth-graders can’t even read, hopes of NASA, the NBA, or the presidency are likely to be dashed. But there’s always the Army. Whoops, maybe not. According to the latest numbers, not only are 75 percent of 17-to-24-year-olds unfit for careers in nuclear fission, they’re also unfit for military service. Either they are dropouts, are overweight, can’t pass the entrance exam, or have a criminal record. 75 percent. This is the U.S. Army we’re talking about—they’ve taken neo-Nazis and gang members, so what’s a fat guy or two? Too fat for one airplane seat or too dumb for Harvard? Fine. Too fat or dumb for Uncle Sam? That’s just disgraceful. Natural selection is breathing down our necks.

Emphasis mine. Just… wow. I love this country! </sarcasm>

According to my Last.fm profile, I have 45,020 recorded plays since July 23, 2005. My actual number of plays, though, will probably be around 48,000 partly because of flaky iPod scrobbling support in earlier versions of iSproggler and partly because I have been known to just forget to have it on and scrobbling—whoops. But I digress.

According to the ever-useful Wolfram Alpha, July 23, 2005 to November 4, 2009 is a period of 1,566 days, or 37,583 hours. And according to iTSfv, the average length of a track in my library is 3:49.

45,020 plays × 3m49s ÷ 60 hrs ÷ 37,583 hrs = 0.09284

I spent an average of a little over 9% of every day for the past three and a half years listening to music. Factor out the time when I’m sleeping and I’m spending close to 15% of my waking hours just listening to music. In other words, a little over two hours every single day. Wow.

20:37

tags: volkswagen car advertisement video tv funny

Volkswagen GTI

I just saw a Volkswagen GTI with license plates that read “BADWABIT”. Made me laugh. (Because the GTI is the turbocharged version of the Volkswagen Golf Mk5, which was marketed in the United States as the Rabbit, but has now been reverted back to Golf. You got all that?)

On a related note, the ad campaign for the 2007 GTI—handled by the awesome ad agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky—was ridiculously memorable. An evil, black demon doll known as “Fast” growls at the driver in a deep, menacing basso to not let his girlfriend get in because “he’d rather not carry around that extra weight” in one ad spot. Another has “Fast” growling at someone deciding between pick-up or delivery in the pouring rain, declaring that delivery is for the weak. The rest of the spots are just as hilarious.

“Make friends with your Fast.”

11:00 1st Nov 2009

tags: claire danes love my so-called life review tv video

My So-Called Life – ‘In Dreams Begins Responsibilities’

This heartbreaking final scene of My So-Called Life is probably one of the best teen drama moments ever. Devon Gummersall plays Brian Krakow to perfection as a geeky and socially awkward teen secretly in love with a girl who’s too infatuated with another boy to notice. Angela Chase—played by the wonderful Claire Danes—never looks at her neighbor and long-time family friend the way she looked at Jordan Catalano, a handsome, popular, and rebellious slacker who is failing high school—played by the excellent Jared Leto—until she realizes the beautifully profound and thoughtful love letter Jordan had given her was actually written by Brian.

My So-Called Life is one of the rare network television shows that tackled difficult real-life issues in its episodes without pandering to viewers’ likes and dislikes, but unfortunately at the expense of mass appeal and marketability. It is the best and most realistic teen drama I have ever seen, and its short televised run only serves to highlight how moronic and hopelessly stupid most American television viewers are. If you haven’t yet watched this incredible show, I highly recommend checking it out on Hulu.